Image borrowed from here
It seems we’re going through a bit of a developmental phase with Little Guy here in Mrs P23 land. And not one of the nice developmental phases – I think there are a few of those?
Nope. Sadly, we’re in the thick of the Terrible Twos. Just when mum’s about to have another baby, so the timing is clearly perfect. The Terrible Twos suck.
Little Guy is two and three months. And a boy of extremes. He either is sweetness and light or a complete fucking shocker.
As the nursery rhyme goes, when he’s good, he’s very, very good. A complete charmer. Waving at people in shops randomly. Trying to engage anyone in chat all the time. Telling them funny stories he knows. Throwing his arms around me and other people he loves to cuddle randomly. Giving the best kisses ever – even butterfly kisses. Patting my belly and talking to baby. Telling me he loves me. Playing beautifully with his sister. He’s even starting to help out around the house, getting things for me now that I’m a bit slow and elephant like.
But yes, when he is bad, he’s horrid. A horrid little shit. The tantrums are huge and over nothing at all, the vast majority of the time.
Today’s tantrum was about me pulling into the Westfields carpark. Which is (apparently) devastating.
It began with him screaming at the top of his very lungs “I don’t want to go to that shop – that shop is yuck!”. Numerous times. Shoes and socks were thrown off in the car in protest, at me. There was a lot more screaming. Many tears. Snot. Lots of snot. And lots of attempts at hitting me when I proceeded to put his shoes and socks back on.
Dude, I just wanted to go and get some vegetables…
I contemplated going home, it was that. bad. But I hate the thought of pandering to this bullshit, so no. I am quite stubborn. Not really the mum that buys their kid a lollypop when they chuck a tanty. I really hate being told what to do by a child.
So, I dragged him, quite literally, through the carpark and we ended up at the greengrocers finally. Me huffing and puffing (he’s strong!). He, still screaming and lying on his back on the floor in protest. Awesome.
My strategy? Just to ignore, ignore and ignore. I am sure people thought I was bonkers for doing nothing. But whatevs to that. If I had to pay attention to every one of them, I’d be at my wit’s end. Having said that, ignoring is not always easy.
On Friday, I took both kids to the library and he did the same kind of thing. Lying on the floor, screeeeeeaming before we even walked in because his sister pressed the ‘up’ button on the elevator first. He lost the plot, and wouldn’t move, so I had to grab and lift him again, and he started smacking me around the face. As you do when you’re two and angry. The librarian even gasped!
Anyway. Where am I going with this? I don’t know. I’m just trying to deal with it as best as I can. With the ignoring. And reiterating how not on this shit is.
When we’re at home, it’s straight to the corner for 2 minutes. Which he hates, and which genuinely seems like a punishment. And we don’t really hit. There have been a few smacks on the bum when things have gotten bad (like hitting his sister square on the nose, really hard, with a tennis racquet – bruise inducing!). But I don’t see the point of smacking him, when I’m trying to get him not to do it. And I take stuff away – his favourite stuff like his guitar, his favourite puppet. Which he is completely gutted about.
But what about when you’re out and about, and they lose their shit? What do you do? Does anyone have any hot tips … because I tell you, I’m going to need them. Especially when this new baby arrives and I am suddenly in the thick of Babyland once more.
I just want to raise a child that I not only love, but that I also like.